Saturday, July 8, 2017

The Night I Pissed Myself

It was a night like any other. Last night, actually. 
It was around 11 PM. My little one was fast asleep, I had taken a hot bubble bath and decided to watch a scary movie. 

I'm a huge horror film fanatic. Old or new, I'm down to watch. Mind you, I do live alone with my son in an apartment complex that is a little, you know, sketchy. That's not the point, though. I'm never afraid. I come equipped with ball bats & tasers. 

It's no exaggeration when I say that I am introverted AF. I will do almost anything to avoid contact with human life. It's just who I have become. Movies & alone time at night are what I live for. So the surprise that was headed my way was a little unnerving.

I popped in the DVD and made myself a cup of hot tea with honey. Slumped into the couch, and found my eyes fixated on the psychopathic thriller playing in front of me. It was just starting to get good... 30 minutes in.

And then.

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

What the fuck? I don't have friends. It's late & I'm in my underwear. My heart sunk into my ass. I sat there in terror. 


Knock. Knock. Knock.

I immediately muted the TV and stood up to tip-toe to the door. I stubbed my pinky toe (which is a little comparable to child birth) on a toy car and wanted to cry, but I trooped through it and made it ever so quietly *not* to the door. I peered through my peephole. 

An older man, bearded & gray. Late 40s, early 50s. Just standing there. Glaring at my front door. He resembled Steven Avery from Making a Murderer.

This is it. 
I thought in my oversized t-shirt and ugly floral underwear.
This is the end. 

But guess what, y'all? Unlike every woman to ever appear in a horror film, I didn't open the door. I didn't say a word. I watched through my peephole until he turned around and walked down the steps outside.  

At first, I wanted to blame the movie for making me so panicked. But in reality, I survived because of it. I'm still unaware of who that man was. He was most likely drunk and stumbled upon the wrong apartment. I'm just hoping he doesn't come back for the sequel I will be watching tonight....  

Linking up with:

Being A Wordsmith

Life Love and Dirty Dishes

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Happy 4th!

Happy Independence Day, 'Merica!

Besides the celebration of our country, cookouts, and fireworks...
What is a holiday without a nice alcoholic beverage?

Enjoy this recipe for some All-American layered jello shots! 

Follow me on Pinterest, while you're at it! ;)

What You'll Need:
  • Jello Mix
  • Cherry Vodka
  • Coconut Rum
  • Blue Curacao
How to:

Refrigerate each layer before adding the next!

Red Layer:
- 1 Pack EZ-Jello Strawberry Daiquiri Mix
- 2 1/2 cups Hot Water
- 1 1/2 cups UV Cherry Vodka  

White Layer:
- 1 Pack EZ-Jello Pina Colada Mix
- 2 1/2 cups Hot Water
- 1 1/2 cups Coconut Rum

Blue Layer
- 1 Pack EZ-Jello Blue Mai Tai
- 2 1/2 cups Hot Water
- 1 1/2 cups Blye Curacao

This awesome recipe is brought to you by

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Why I Refuse a Personal FB Account

My whole issue with Facebook is that instead of just a here and there update, it has become a diary for the attention-craved & misinformed.

What? Your boyfriend cheated on you? You should probably let the 2,745 friends on your account know exactly what went down! 

It's raining? I bet no one has windows. Status update!

Politics. OMG. You don't have to battle it out publicly if you aren't educated to the topic. 

Jesus won't love you unless you share that video. He checks these pages daily. 

The game notifications/requests. Garbage. 

Catfish, guys. They're lurking. 

Some of your babies are ugly and you don't have to share a photo of their every move. Please. Don't. 

Those insane articles you keep sharing, most likely are not true. 

You probably don't even know your 'suggested friends'.

There is most likely drama every once in awhile & now you're aware of it. *Sigh*

I don't know about y'all, but I feel the sudden urge to throw a book at someone when I see a status with so many typos and grammatical errors. 

Remember, I'm not dissing on your page or your constant, unnecessary updates. I'm just saying you should probably get a life. 

Thanks for stopping by & Happy Sunday!   

 Linking up with: 

Being A Wordsmith

Life Love and Dirty Dishes


Saturday, July 1, 2017

Traffic Isn't the Problem

I've always read and overheard stories about how road rage really starts. 

But let me tell you why traffic isn't the problem if you live in a small town. 

The population isn't large enough for a road to be congested longer than 10 seconds. Cool, right? However, there are plenty of downfalls of being on the road in a tiny place. 

1. Backroads. While being scenic, chances are you might get stuck behind a tractor, school bus, or your mail man. 

2. Deer. I know that they're practically everywhere. But for some reason, deer really love to pop up around my neck of the woods. Mid-day or late night, get ready to have a mini heart attack when you have to swerve away from hitting them. COWS ARE ALSO AN ISSUE.

3. Lawnmowers. They will cross at crosswalks.

4. Navigation. You can't get lost, but as soon as you travel outside the county line, you're fucked. 

5. Trains. The quickest way to lose your shit is waiting for it to pass. & the only radio station you can pick up is playing the same cliche country song that you hate.  

Can you relate to the small town struggle? Or are you a victim of big city traffic?
Thanks for stopping by and have a great weekend!

Linking up with:

Being A Wordsmith

Life Love and Dirty Dishes

Tuesday, June 27, 2017


My name is Lana. I'm a twenty-something single mother. I live in a tiny town where people know what you've eaten for breakfast and it's impossible to find someone you haven't already met. 

I'd classify myself as a bit of hippie, I suppose. Only cleaner. Keeping the peace has become a lifestyle for me. I would rather hide in my apartment from human existance than to have conflict and crippling social anxiety. Ya feel me? 

I enjoy being a mother to my toddler son, who we'll just call "A". Scary movies, music, drawing, long drives, trips to the lake, and an occasional vodka slushie.
What else is there to do in a small town, right? ;) 

Anyhoo. I'm new to the blogging world. Thought it might be theraputic & fun! Join me as I figure life out one day at a time. Follow me on my social media outlets found on the sidebar of my home page, I follow everyone back! Looking forward to blogging with y'all!